Redathin J. Raven (Updated)

[redraven]

OOC NAME: Redathin The name you go by in the c-box.
CHARACTERS:

• Redathin J. Raven
  
• URL ( Redathin , sans spaces) links
  
• To accepted applications

As well as above, please link a picture (preferably an icon) you would like to be used for your icon here. If you link a picture, Asther will crop it down to size for you.

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 420px; background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/pN4s1.png); -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; padding: 10px; border: #181818 solid 10px; ] [STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 333333; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 5px; color: 777777;] Redathin Jorge Raven [/style][STYLE= border: 8px solid #333333; width: 100px; margin-top: -55px; float: right;][/style][STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 181818; padding-top: 4px; text-transform: uppercase; font-family: arial; letter-spacing: -0.5px; color: 777777; text-align: justify;] [/style][STYLE= width: 290px; background-color: 5e5e5e; text-align: justify; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; line-height: 9px; font-family: verdana; font-size: 9px; color: 181818; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:0px 0px 40px 0px;] FULL NAME: Redathin Jorge Raven Known as: The Defender, gained from the defensive style of swordplay he uses. ORIGINS: Born on and raised on Berk. Birthday is December 29. He is 16 years old. GENDER & SEXUALITY: Male, Heterosexual OCCUPATION: Delivers packages and news from island to island. Also Practices swordplay in his spare time [/style] [STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 333333; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 5px; color: 777777;] NOW WITH MOAR WORDS! [/style][STYLE=width: 120px; height: 100px; background-color: 1e1e1e; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; color: 777777; margin-top: -55px; float: right;] GENERAL INFO [/style][STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 181818; padding-top: 4px; text-transform: uppercase; font-family: arial; letter-spacing: -0.5px; color: 777777; text-align: justify;] About Redathin [/style][STYLE= width: 290px; background-color: 5e5e5e; text-align: justify; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; line-height: 9px; font-family: verdana; font-size: 9px; color: 181818; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:0px 0px 40px 0px;] LIKES: Flying Whittling Swordplay Wool Blankets Snow Evergreen Trees Being Alone with his dragon Camping DISLIKES: Intense Heat Complaining Blunt Weapons Arguing Gossip Old boots POSITIVE TRAITS: Team player Skilled with blades Willing to learn Trustworthy Very strong memory Determined Insightful Thoughtful NEGATIVE TRAITS: Awkward Critical of others and self Hates Fish Can be easily Depressed Emotional AMBITIONS: Fly Around the world Be more open Find true love To be the best he can be FEARS: Snakes Spiders Bears Self Failure Forgetting something important Illness Hysterians SECRETS: Burnt down his house when he was five, though people think it was a problem with the stove it was red playing with flint Knows a small cave on Berk where a small silver vein is, plans to save it until he meets someone special Always carries a knife attached to his left shin for emergencies OVERALL PERSONALITY: Redathin is always willing to listen to people and help them work out problems. When he gets angry he doesn't show it, but he starts to become a little angsty. He loves every season of the year, but prefers the winter months. He spends a lot of time to him self or with his dragon, wether it be hiking, camping, or traveling. PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Five Feet, eleven Inches tall, 165 lbs. , not fat, but not muscular, Brown Hair about five inches long with a very slight curl to it, Blue eyes, thick eyebrows, Wears a dark blue tunic a raven embroidered into the right shoulder, Black Pants, and black boots. [/style] [STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 333333; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 5px; color: 777777;] MADE US WHO WE ARE [/style][STYLE=width: 120px; height: 100px; background-color: 1e1e1e; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; color: 777777; margin-top: -55px; float: right;] BLAST FROM THE PAST [/style][STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 181818; padding-top: 4px; text-transform: uppercase; font-family: arial; letter-spacing: -0.5px; color: 777777; text-align: justify;] Time is Everything [/style][STYLE= width: 290px; background-color: 5e5e5e; text-align: justify; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; line-height: 9px; font-family: verdana; font-size: 9px; color: 181818; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:0px 0px 40px 0px;] HISTORY: Only four days after his fifth birthday he accidentally burnt down his house while playing with flint. Though no one figured out it was him, but Red gained a scar from the top of his right palm to his elbow and many of their family heirlooms were destroyed or badly damaged and they spent the winter months in a tent. During this time His mother lost two toes to frostbite because she gave Redathin more quilts to keep him warm. When he was young he went with his father on many trips to other villages. On his seventh birthday his father's dragon suffered from an unknown disease and died two days later. Redathin's father became depressed and later committed suicide. When Redathin turned nine he received his first sword. From that day forward he practiced sword play diligently every day. He has even managed to win a few tournaments. When he turned 13 he received his dragon now known as Cloud Cutter. After a lot of training and practice Redathin and Cloud Cutter received the job of messenger and deliverer due to knowing routes well from the time spent with his father. One evening Redathin swore he saw a White Fear flying to what seemed to be a nest though as he followed the White Fear escaped and Red never saw it again. On his 15th birthday, after receiving the sword he carries now his mother passed leaving him with a small house and few possessions. Though he claims he's completely recovered from his parents death, any mention of family gives you a depressed look from red. [/style] [STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 333333; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 5px; color: 777777;] COMBAT && DRAGON [/style][STYLE=width: 120px; height: 100px; background-color: 1e1e1e; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; color: 777777; margin-top: -55px; float: right;] FIGHT TO THE DEATH [/style][STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 181818; padding-top: 4px; text-transform: uppercase; font-family: arial; letter-spacing: -0.5px; color: 777777; text-align: justify;] This weapon is you life [/style][STYLE= width: 290px; background-color: 5e5e5e; text-align: justify; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; line-height: 9px; font-family: verdana; font-size: 9px; color: 181818; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:0px 0px 40px 0px;] WEAPON OF CHOICE: A custom made broadsword made from tempered iron. He received the blade on his fifteenth birthday and later carved his dragon's name into the blade. Very special to Redathin due to it being the last gift he received from his mother before she died. FIGHTING STYLE: A defensive style in which strikes are blocked or parried, then countered. DRAGON NAME: Cloud Cutter DRAGON BREED: Galewing DRAGON DESCRIPTION: 15 feet long. 20 foot wingspan. Stands 7 feet high. Emerald eyes and royal blue scales. DRAGON PERSONALITY: Playful, loyal, very defensive of Redathin and those close to him, unable to sit still for more than a while unless sleeping or being kept company, and very territorial even towards Redathin. DRAGON TECHNIQUES: Can fly at slightly higher altitudes than most dragons. ( 10-40 feet higher) [/style] [STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 333333; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 5px; color: 777777;] EVERYTHING ELSE [/style][STYLE=width: 120px; height: 100px; background-color: 1e1e1e; padding-top: 4px; text-align; center; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 16px; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; font-family: arial narrow; letter-spacing: 2px; color: 777777; margin-top: -55px; float: right;] OOC INFORMATION [/style][STYLE=width: 340px; background-color: 181818; padding-top: 4px; text-transform: uppercase; font-family: arial; letter-spacing: -0.5px; color: 777777; text-align: justify;] Community Extras [/style][STYLE= width: 290px; background-color: 5e5e5e; text-align: justify; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; line-height: 9px; font-family: verdana; font-size: 9px; color: 181818; -moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:0px 0px 40px 0px;] CHARACTER FACE CLAIM:Cillian Murphy movie/series -- Inception **Please remember to use real life Face Claims here, rather than animanga** Please note that this is not required, but if you do have a look-alike (or find one later on) you can modify this in. Please be sure to add your claim to the list when/if you decide one. KEYWORD HIDDEN IN THE RULES: -********- OOC NAME TO CALL YOU: Redathin RP EXAMPLE: Redathin sighed. The day had been long and he was exhausted. He had hiked from his house in the village all the way to the midpoint of the highest mountain peak. From where he was the view was limitless. The village was bright with celebration of some sort. Redathin chuckled, "People here give any excuse to celebrate and break open the liquor barrels." As he began to decent the mountain he noticed a rustling in the trees. He continued cautiously toward the forest. As he got closer the rustling slowed until it stopped. Redathin put his hand on the hilt of his sword and began to draw the blade, but right before he could finish a Gale Wing dragon burst through the trees and pounced on Redathin. "Ugh, get off me stupid." Redathin said laughing. The dragon cooed and hopped to the side. Redathin stood up and whipped the dirt off his tunic. "Cloud Cutter, why do you never stay put? I go hiking for a day and you can't just have some time to yourself?" Redathin said quirkily. Cloud Cutter tilted his head and cooed again. "Oh well, it's not like you didn't have your own idea of how today was going to go." Redathin murmured. Lightning started hopping up and down while flapping his wings. "Oh, so you want me to catch you huh?" Redathin said challengingly. Instantly the dragon turned and sprinted into the forest. Redathin chuckled to himself then ran after the dragon. A [/style]

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made by MOCKINGBIRD of BTN
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[REDKITEBAIT]

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Welcome to BerksDragons! I hope you will enjoy your time here, as much as the rest of our members do! Your app looks good, but there are several things that will need to be edited for me to be able to accept this

First of all, most Vikings tend to only have one title, not three. Titles are usually gained by how a Viking has proven themselves to the village. Please whittle the number down to one

Though your character is a tradesman/messenger, which means he is able to visit both lands of Berk and Hysteria, we are in a Scandinavian settings, where there isn't really any sort of prairie-like land around. Could you remove this, please?

If his house burnt down, surely there would have been some serious consequences? Sure, he lost his house, but there's no way they escape without some sort of consequence. Also this isn't mentioned in the character's history. In the History section, could you also tell us how Redathin trained his dragon in detail?

Gems and rare stones are *insanely* rare to find on Berk. Usually miners have to dig deep down into the earth to find jewels, especially ones that are big enough to be put in a sword. Vikings don't really have ornate weaponry anyway, and if they did, it would be for ceremonial reasons. So no emeralds. Also, if the sword belonged to his mother, why does he have his current dragon's name on it?

Vikings aren't really Jedis. Your character isn't psychic, so it's near impossible to 'foresee' where attacks will be coming from, only react to how the opponent would move.

I don't think it's possible for a dragon to be able to move clouds with it's wings. Galewings are known for their gusty wing beats, but I don't think it would be strong enough to move the smallest of clouds. Clouds, despite their fluffy lightweight appearance are actually pretty heavy, and only the strongest of winds can move them. Just like all flying creatures, Galewings just create 'gusts' with the downwards force of their wings.

In your RP example, the forests on Berk are coniferous, which means they don't lose their leaves during the winter. As a result, leaves don't really go brown and fall off.

I'll review this once more when the above has been fixed, thank you ^_^

[REDKITEBAIT]

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Great! This looks a lot better! Could you put the history in chronological order please? Thank you!

[REDKITEBAIT]

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Yayy all good! Have fun!

Please:
1. Link your profile to your signature.
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