Character Critique, please?

[kiki]

Hey.

So these applications are a lot longer than I usually do, so I wanted to get some advice and opinions on the current outline I have. For every current bullet point, I'll do at least another sentence or two.

My main concern is also that she's not viking enough. So...if I could just have some opinions on her character, that'd be great!

Also, I know I need to find a way to stress that she's not constantly gonna be a downer. I'm not sure if her love of night furies and envy of those who have them will be public or not.

berksdragons.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ays&action=display&thread=75

[banditfly]

She seems viking enough to me, though you didn't really go into specifically how good she is, just how good she wants to be. Maybe throwing in some achievements and sources of motivation (why does she want to be legendary?) will help clear that bit up.

She seems ambitious, which can definitely make a good and unique character, especially when that ambition starts to consume them and become an obsession. They might become cold or arrogant and push away personal relationships in fear that it will hold them back from achieving their dream. At some point they might realize that this desperate pursuit of their dream is making them unhappy and letting go of it would became a great inner conflict for them. Even after that, they would become lost, no longer knowing what to do with themselves, and that's where friendship comes in to save the day.

Just an idea.

She doesn't seem like a downer, either. In fact, she sounds quite proud of herself and maybe someone who would put herself above over other students and gloat. If she was truly unhappy, maybe she would hide it under arrogance, making others believe she's perfectly happy with herself. As for Night Furies, she might say she loves them but would never show envy over those who do have them.

Two cents. You don't have to take any of this or you could take all of it. Just something to think about.

[kiki]

Thanks! It seems like she's coming off as intended in the profile - which will hopefully translate to the same when writing role play posts. I was expecting something similar to the direction you figured. How does someone deal if they accept that what they've always strived for is impossible - better yet, what makes someone think it's impossible if they've always believed?

I'll go more into depth in her history, figuring perhaps a grandfather's stories, and just a born ambition.

Let's see...how good she is will need to be stated as average at start, slightly better after excessive training. How good she wants to be should be stated as vague as she views it. 'the best, unbeatable'. [ Poor her, never gonna happen. My characters always end up with bad endings, like that. Even if they're never played out. xD ]