Post by REDKITEBAIT on Jul 15, 2012 14:30:03 GMT -5
If you have heard about me talking about a random FreeWriting rant-commentary thing.
This is it.
I have this deep feeling inside that feels as if my insides are being squeezed, my throat clammy, and my arms aching after batting my arms around like a thunderbird puppet for something completely stupid: a common house fly.
Yeah, it sounds retarded, but it’s the truth. I’m trying to have a peaceful evening on the computer, bored as hell, talking to a good friend I’ve met on an online game, then this insect comes along, buzzing round my head, watching it fly by my eyes several times, then desperately trying to flog it with an arm. It will land on the computer monitor, which distracts me from what I’m doing, and then get caught behind the light and make and even louder buzzing noise.
Sometimes it might go do a round of the bedroom, but it will always come back, drawn to the desk light which is the only current light source in the room. What is it with insects and light anyway? Knowing insects and their love for light, why aren’t they already half way to the sun by now? Ah, if only there wasn’t a vacuum in space, the insects can go burn in the sun. Then I would be happy, for there wouldn’t be any mosquitoes or Horse flies to be annoying.
Wait... if the insects did go burn, then there wouldn’t be any bees or wasps to make life interesting. Bees are so cute if you look at them at a right angle. It’s a shame our hives got raided by maggots and they all died. I wonder what kind of maggots they were, but I was glad my dad blow torched them to hell and beyond.
And my trail of thoughts has once again been broken by the mischievous fly! What a devil, at least he/she/it is helping me to write this, even if this idea sucks its pretty useful because its satisfying my undead boredom. Oh god... there’s two flies now. God save us. They’re resting on my monitor, not on the screen thankfully, but nevertheless, if I swat them they’ll bug me... literally. Oh crappers and cream, a third one made them fly off... they’ve re-landed on m y monitor... this is tiresome, if only they had enough brains to learn that I hate them and they should go sleep somewhere else. Where’s the fly swat? I reckon I’ll have to go “fly-hunting”.
My fly swatter has a long red handle and a square white swatting bit. It’s been dirtied with the blood (well flies don’t have blood but I’m calling it that anyway) of those who have stood in my path. Now, I can’t swat them on the computer monitor otherwise I’d break it, and I love my monitor very much. I best turn the main light on and go fly hunting hardcore style.
They may have no brains, but they certainly know which places keeps them safe, as they’ll land on corners of walls, furniture, or land high up where I can’t reach them. However I bag my first three victims who stay on the bed, and they got easily destroyed. Sadly there are more than anticipated, so I shall take longer to dismiss them.
Haha, I take down another resting on the mirror – that’s a bonus, as those who hang about there are difficult to swat. I continue this sport, as I look back to the computer monitor to check whether I have received new messages from my friend, once again I see flies taking refuge on there.
My friend messages me, and I notify him of my progress with this rant. I remind him that the subject is about being pissed off with flies, whilst batting away yet another fly from the monitor. These flies seem to have realised that they can’t rest on the monitor, however they persist that they fly round my head once before buzzing to the back of the room, as if to mock me of my slowness of the killings of their race. As I type, the flies continue to enrage me, I managed to bat one with my hand, and make it hit into the wall, shame it didn’t get knocked out though, when it flied off as if nothing happened.
Now I celebrate by achieving to get as far as the second page on this word document with such a pointless subject, and I share this achievement with my friend. And now my sister logs in onto the messaging program, contacting me by her iTouch, and starts talking gibberish as per usual. Whatever made me unblock her I don’t know. My friend pulls off a virtual ninja party in which nothing happens, then talks about his story he’s writing.
I came to realise that I was coming off subject of the matter, even though the occasional insect would come by, but at least it wasn’t as bad as before when I had started this thing. An unsuspecting fly doesn’t land on the monitor no more; however it lands on the wall beside it: a perfect opportunity as I smacked it.
How ironic, whenever I think it’s time to draw a close to this somewhat bizarre outburst; the flies will do something to stop me from stopping. For all I know I might end up writing all night. But I’m going to end it here anyway. Bye!
This is it.
I have this deep feeling inside that feels as if my insides are being squeezed, my throat clammy, and my arms aching after batting my arms around like a thunderbird puppet for something completely stupid: a common house fly.
Yeah, it sounds retarded, but it’s the truth. I’m trying to have a peaceful evening on the computer, bored as hell, talking to a good friend I’ve met on an online game, then this insect comes along, buzzing round my head, watching it fly by my eyes several times, then desperately trying to flog it with an arm. It will land on the computer monitor, which distracts me from what I’m doing, and then get caught behind the light and make and even louder buzzing noise.
Sometimes it might go do a round of the bedroom, but it will always come back, drawn to the desk light which is the only current light source in the room. What is it with insects and light anyway? Knowing insects and their love for light, why aren’t they already half way to the sun by now? Ah, if only there wasn’t a vacuum in space, the insects can go burn in the sun. Then I would be happy, for there wouldn’t be any mosquitoes or Horse flies to be annoying.
Wait... if the insects did go burn, then there wouldn’t be any bees or wasps to make life interesting. Bees are so cute if you look at them at a right angle. It’s a shame our hives got raided by maggots and they all died. I wonder what kind of maggots they were, but I was glad my dad blow torched them to hell and beyond.
And my trail of thoughts has once again been broken by the mischievous fly! What a devil, at least he/she/it is helping me to write this, even if this idea sucks its pretty useful because its satisfying my undead boredom. Oh god... there’s two flies now. God save us. They’re resting on my monitor, not on the screen thankfully, but nevertheless, if I swat them they’ll bug me... literally. Oh crappers and cream, a third one made them fly off... they’ve re-landed on m y monitor... this is tiresome, if only they had enough brains to learn that I hate them and they should go sleep somewhere else. Where’s the fly swat? I reckon I’ll have to go “fly-hunting”.
My fly swatter has a long red handle and a square white swatting bit. It’s been dirtied with the blood (well flies don’t have blood but I’m calling it that anyway) of those who have stood in my path. Now, I can’t swat them on the computer monitor otherwise I’d break it, and I love my monitor very much. I best turn the main light on and go fly hunting hardcore style.
They may have no brains, but they certainly know which places keeps them safe, as they’ll land on corners of walls, furniture, or land high up where I can’t reach them. However I bag my first three victims who stay on the bed, and they got easily destroyed. Sadly there are more than anticipated, so I shall take longer to dismiss them.
Haha, I take down another resting on the mirror – that’s a bonus, as those who hang about there are difficult to swat. I continue this sport, as I look back to the computer monitor to check whether I have received new messages from my friend, once again I see flies taking refuge on there.
My friend messages me, and I notify him of my progress with this rant. I remind him that the subject is about being pissed off with flies, whilst batting away yet another fly from the monitor. These flies seem to have realised that they can’t rest on the monitor, however they persist that they fly round my head once before buzzing to the back of the room, as if to mock me of my slowness of the killings of their race. As I type, the flies continue to enrage me, I managed to bat one with my hand, and make it hit into the wall, shame it didn’t get knocked out though, when it flied off as if nothing happened.
Now I celebrate by achieving to get as far as the second page on this word document with such a pointless subject, and I share this achievement with my friend. And now my sister logs in onto the messaging program, contacting me by her iTouch, and starts talking gibberish as per usual. Whatever made me unblock her I don’t know. My friend pulls off a virtual ninja party in which nothing happens, then talks about his story he’s writing.
I came to realise that I was coming off subject of the matter, even though the occasional insect would come by, but at least it wasn’t as bad as before when I had started this thing. An unsuspecting fly doesn’t land on the monitor no more; however it lands on the wall beside it: a perfect opportunity as I smacked it.
How ironic, whenever I think it’s time to draw a close to this somewhat bizarre outburst; the flies will do something to stop me from stopping. For all I know I might end up writing all night. But I’m going to end it here anyway. Bye!
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