Jane

[silentdoll]

NAME: Jane
ALIAS: none
AGE: 17
GENDER: Female
STANDING: Your average everyday viking
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Straight



LIKES:

Meat
Proving that she is better than males her age
Fish
Playing with dragons
Her friends
Flying with on her dragon

DISLIKES:

Being underestimated
People looking down on her
People who are mean to her friends
Being bothered when she wants to be alone

STRENGTHS:
Her Strength
Aerial combat
Axe wielding ability
Decent liar(can get out of bad situations more easily)
Intelligent

WEAKNESSES:
A little naive
Not very fast
Very indecisive sometimes
Easily distracted

FEARS:
Death
Harm befalling her friends
Failing to be a good Viking
Being unable to be a Viking

AMBITIONS:
Protect her friends
Protect her dragon
Always win in a flying race
Learn how to use a sword

SECRETS:
Sometimes wishes to run she were an only child
Cant stand it when people tell her "no"




PERSONALITY:

Jane is a naturally kind person, even if she is somewhat shy. She is nice to anyone she meets, and even if they are rude to her, she will try to be nice to them. She sometimes flatters others, most often to help boost the self-esteem of some of her friends.
She almost always wears a smile, and always thinks a positive thoughts. The only time you wouldn't see a smile on her face was if she was seriously thinking, dead, or fighting for her life. Though she rarely has someone that gets on her bad side, there are a few. She believes that all people are equal, and that all people are born with a good heart. When fighting an opponent, if the match leads up to a death battle, she will respect their last wishes, and see to it that they are somehow carried out.
Timidity is probably Jane's most defining trait to those who don't know her. She is a rather shy person, usually sinking into the background and being very quiet.\, a wall flower, if you will. She is more of a listener around people. She likes to learn about thing and sees that being quiet the best way to learn. She is a bit self-conscious about herself, but she holds on to friendships very well.



OVERALL PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Jane has a light build. She has fair skin. Her hair is black and very long. She never pulls it back. She has a heart-shaped face, framed by her hair. Her eyes are a stunning pale blue resembleing a placid lake. She stands about 4 feet 7 inches tall and her light build makes her only 100 pounds. She has strong muscles in her arms and legs, and likes close range combat.
Jane:
Please pardon my artwork. I've only ever done Panty & Stocking style. And the blue in her hair is just the shine.

She usually wears brighter colors, prefering softer fabrics as well. In winter she wears a fur lined coat.

Jane generally doesn't carry her axe with her, not wanting to lug around its weight all day.

HISTORY: Jane was born in the village of Berk in mid December. The ground was layered with snow, as it was the middle of a blizzard. Jane's father was at war when her mother gave birth, so her mother, a stubborn viking woman, named her after herself, with hopes that Jane would grow up to be a great viking. Early on in her childhood, her father noticed that she was unusually quiet. He soon came to the conclusion that Jane was a mute. However, this changed (kinda) later in life. After she was old enough she found a reason to speak up: her brother, Rodrick. She stuck up for him after she found out he was being bullied for not believeing in the Norse Gods like the rest of the village. He was he reason for speaking her mind.
Her young childhood years came and went without much action, not speaking often or even at all at times. Jane got her dragon when she was 9. She had been looking on the beach for sea shells when a run-away horse came running full speed at her. A Monstrous Nightmare swooped down when the mare was about to run her over and the horse ran the other way. The dragon had saved her life. She brought it food and it stayed with her for two years, then mysteriously vanished.

A year later Her older Brother was out rock climbing when he lost his grip and fell, the same dragon that had saved Jane caught her brother before he hit the ground and brought him home, after that the dragon stayed to live with them.



PARENTS, FRIENDS, OTHER FAMILY:
Aaron, dad, 43, viking
Jane, mom, 32, viking
Rodrick, brother, 24, the world's first (self appointed) scientist
Amut, friend, 27, former egyptain slave

WEAPON OF CHOICE: battle axe


DRAGON NAME: Hero
DRAGON TYPE: Monstrous Nightmare
DRAGON PERSONALITY: he always listens to Jane, and he is loyal to her. it took time for him to get use to staying in one place, but he settled down with Jane. Jane formed an inseparable bond with him, and they stay strong together. He is protective over all living things.

KEYWORD IN RULES: Hysteria

[REDKITEBAIT]

The character is interesting, but I feel that the names of your character and it's family should be a little bit more Viking-y

'Can concentrate well' and 'Easily distracted' is kinda contradicting

What makes being a good liar a positive trait for this character?

Could you also explain why and how her mutism changed later on?

I'll review this again once these issues are sorted out, thanks ^_^

[silentdoll]

I can fix that, but do i have to rename her? I like her name and her family.

[PIME2]

Sorry, I'm with Red on this one, they're too Christian/English.

[silentdoll]

wow. I'm with that other girl on this. You are too strict.

[PIME2]

Really? It's too strict to not allow Christian names in a viking setting? Too strict to not allow a 4'9" stickfigue of a girl carry a 6'5" bladed great sword? (what she was wanting.) We're not asking for you to remove the soul of a character, like she was professing, we're only wanting there to be logic in a world. If we were strict with the rule we'd be denying most chars for not having vikingy enough names, very few people actually give norse names like Baldr or HTTYD type names like Pickle Manface. We have generally ruled that no where in the archepedio is there christianity, so names like the ones you ask will not be found there. A name, in and of itself, is not important to the character of the person that has it, so please humour us with our quibble, your characters won't be ruined by a name change.

[PIME2]

I just realised I should review it quickly myself cause there’s a few other issues I noticed. Most of them aren’t ‘please change this’ they’re more ‘think about this’. The only thing I think needs changing, other than the names, is the inclusion of the Egyptian slave. Firstly he kind of needed a mentioning in the history so we knew who he was, but even then, like I said for the christain name, this is a Viking setting, more importantly one which no longer has romans or any reason for Egyptians to have gotten up north of Italy. I think that, regardless of context, is something we’d have to reject.

Other than that there’s nothing you need to change, but you do need to think about whether you should change or not (we’ll take your decision either way about it). 4’7” is pretty short for a 17 year old girl (We know that people were shorter in the Viking age but we desided to say modern averages were the ones we’d go with since it gets too confusing otherwise). Also the personality does feel a bit too overly positive. There’s also something about the history I think needs work, though I can’t put my finger on it right now. If you want to keep things as they are on those fronts then fine, it’s your char, but do think about wether you should change them or not before sticking with them.

Remember, the reason we review this is so that when you actually enter the world this site uses, your char is ready to go straight in with no worry of continuity failings. We have our requirements because you’re entering our world, not the other way round, and if something doesn’t fit it is kind of our right to ask you to change your character, not for us to change our world to fit your char in. The world is for all members, not just the newest ones.

[silentdoll]

I think i like that RedKite guy better. He told be to change things too but he's nice. No offense, but Pime you just seem bitter and somewhat b*tchy about it. You said that, " We have our requirements because you’re entering our world, not the other way round, and if something doesn’t fit it is kind of our right to ask you to change your character, not for us to change our world to fit your char in. The world is for all members, not just the newest ones"
But if the world was for ALL members then that would Include the newest ones. Nobodies asking anybody to change the world you created. We all just want to be let in. You admins get to have any kind of characters you want. If the creator decided he wanted a guy named Bob who took over the entire planet and ruled it with an iron fist, then you wouldn't question him. But if i want a happy sweet Jane it unacceptable. You don't want to change your world, but that's unavoidable. The world changes with every character that comes into it, every RP that gets posted, every time somebody says "Hi" in the chat. You can't stop change.

[twistedpersona]

That was beautiful, doll, glorious! Its so sweet how you mentioned me! I'm flattered. I enjoyed reading about your character as well. She's absolutely lovely. If these Nazis won't accept you you can always join my site. I'll pass you the link on DA.

[PIME2]

If Abyss made that character I would veto it before I finished reading the history, Red would too. We are not as fickle as you guys seem to assume. There are four members on this site that are alowed to create a night fury char, and I'm not one of them. And of course the world changes with every new idea (Chauty and Curtis have expanded this world as much as Red and I have, and Chauty's been here less than three weeks), but things that are made should not be unmade, if Abyss ruled that vikings should have vikingy names, then no matter who calls their char Bob, be they Abyss, Red, Chauty or Persona, we will say no.

[REDKITEBAIT]

*flies over the little argument*

Anyway, nice modifications to the app, it looks a lot better now,

If you don't want to stray too far from these names, you could perhaps find Vikingy-sounding equivalents, perhaps instead of Jane, you could go with Johanna or something... follow suite for the names of the other members of family or, if the names follow a meaning, find the equivalent meaning in norse/scandinavian names Hope this helps!